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Posted May 13, 2003 at 01:40:14 PM by Bean
On a trip to the local Asian market with my friend Koji, i decided to try something different. I like eggs, and eat them quite a bit, but have never had an egg from something other than a chicken. So, when I saw "Duck Eggs" hand written on a sign in front of a carton of individually wrapped eggs, I decided to drop the dollar and try it.

It was slightly larger than your standard chicken egg, and had been unevenly dyed red. I pondered over how to cook it for a few minutes and finally decided on frying it up for a egg and cheese sandwich. I was excited.

I heated up the pan and sprayed in a little oil. Once it was time, I grabbed the egg and started gently tapping it on the side of the pan to crack the shell. The shell was a little thicker than I expected, but I eventually broke through. The inner membrane on the egg was also thicker than your standard chicken egg, and although the shell was cracked partially open, the membrane was holding tight and not allowing any of the egg contents to drip out. The I noticed something disturbing... the egg contents were substantially darker than expected.

So I grabbed a small glass bowl. I decided to crack the egg into the bowl first to make sure everything was kosher, then I'd just settle for scrambled. Well, as I pulled the shell further apart and punctured the inner membrane, a chunky, brown and orange glob of at-the-time-unknown goo fell into the bowl. I was taken aback. Yuri was watching over my shoulder, and we both jumped back as it settled in the bowl. Not knowing what the hell was going on, I decided to poke around the glob of junk that fell out with a fork.

Yuri continued to watch over my shoulder as I felt around for something solid. Once I had something on the fork, I lifted it up out of the brown soup that contained it. At first we couldn't tell what it was. Approximately 1 second later, we both realized it was the partially developed head of a duck. Yuri started screaming and almost knocked me over as she pushed off of me to get away as fast as she could. The head had a beak, black eyes, and veins. Attached to the head by a thin neck (hanging between the fork prongs) was the rest of the body. There were the beginnings of feathers, and you could see through the skin into the body cavity underneath. As I lifted it up further, the mass of organs inside it fell through the bottom of the torso into the bowl. It was fucking repulsive.

Come to find out, partially developed duck eggs, which are called Balut, are a traditional food in the Phillipines. Freaks. Balut is the most disgusting food item I have ever seen. I now rate gross food on the Balut Scale. For instance, I rate canned salmon (the kind in the big can, which contains scales, veins, bones, etc) as 60% as gross as Balut, or .6Balut.

For more information on Balut, look here.

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Interview: Steve from The Sneeze
Posted March 19, 2007 at 03:25:50 PM by Bean in the Interviews category
Now, for the first time ever, a Beanblog interview featuring someone that is neither my relative nor my friend (not that I dislike the guy - I just don't know him): Steve from The Sneeze!
Q: Your site, The Sneeze, sure is funny. I read it whenever it's new. How long have you maintained and what led to it's initial creation?

A: The Sneeze began on June 28th, 2003. I started it because I was just looking for a creative outlet. I used to have a similar site I started with some friends way back in 1996. The difference then was I had to do all the HTML by hand and I hated it. The designing and coding of the site was taking me longer than the writing of it. And writing it was the only part I was really interested in. A few years ago things like Blogger and Movable Type came along and made updating and maintaining sites like this much easier. So I thought I'd try getting into it again.

Q: When you got the chance, what kind of things did you write about in your 1996 foray?

A: I did it with my friends Pat and Anthony. Some of the stuff is up in The Sneeze archives. I made the Freaky Franks game back then and the section called "Just Us Girls" where Anthony tested out products for women was also from the 90's. I need to get him to do some more of those.

Q: Some of my favorite sections are Steve, Don't Eat It! and Best of The Sneeze Jr. Have you got anything good lined up to eat? (If not... consider balut)

A: I do have a few things lined up. I'll get to them one of these days. (I know, I know -- it's been forever.) A number of people have emailed suggesting balut. I've seen a bunch of things online about it already, so that makes me a little less interested in writing about it.

Q: What are your favorite three television shows?

A: At the moment: Mythbusters, Heroes and The Office.

Q: And who is your favorite character from each show?

A: Those shows (at least Heroes and The Office) all have such great, deep casts - it's hard for me to single anyone out. But Mythbusters wouldn't be the same without Adam.
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