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My name is Bean and this is my blog. Hence the name. If you have comments or questions, just leave them in the comments area.
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Archive for December 2003

In less that 11 hours, 2003 will be gone forever.

I remember thinking that 2000 seemed so far away, so far in the future.  Now it seems so far back.  Crazy how time goes by faster as you get older.  I guess since each passing year is by definition a smaller percentage of total time passed, we perceive it to be that way.

So what will I look back and remember about 2003?  Well, at the top of the list, I'll remember fact that I lived like a gypsie for the whole year.  I've lived in 4 places in the last 12 months, and am looking to jump to number 5 as soon as possible.  I'll remember that it was the year I bought my first house, and how great that felt.  I'll remember that quit Acterna and took a new job with Tony.  I'll remember the wars, and the pictures of Saddam's capture and his dead sons.  I'll remember Stef, and the trips we took to Chicago, Florida, Toronto, and Vegas.  I'll remember the duck, the blogs, and all of the fests.  I'll remember finally being back home, and being able to see my family every day.  And most of all, I'll remember Werner Gohl, the elderly homosexual german drunk who hangs out at The Spot in Bloomfield yelling "Come to me with your pants in your hand" at Rachael and delacring that his "Momma" told him to "Shop around."

So cheers to 2003, a good 365 days by my book, and cheers to Werner Gohl.  Here's hoping for another great year to come in 2004.



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Beer
Posted December 29, 2003 at 12:48:23 PM by Bean in the Beer category
More specifically, brewing. Brewed a batch of beer last night for the first time in almost a year. It was supposed to be a 10 gallon batch, but I effed a few things up along the way and only ended up with enough sugar exctraction to muster up about 7-8. Ben Gregory bought the ingredients, and we used my equipment... we are splitting the end product. Not a bad deal for either of us.

It took us 6 hours. Along the way, I managed top melt a spot into my dad's plastic/wood compound deck material. I swear, less than 48 hours after they leave for Florida and entrust their house to me, I go and break it. I guess I've got about 3 months to figure out what to do about it.

When all was said and done, we ended up with two big jugs of nasty slop. Hopefully, the slop will start fermenting today and be ready to keg in a few weeks. It should be an ESB - a somewhat light and malty english beer. Of course, we took a few liberties with the type and amounts of ingredients, so hard telling what we'll actually have. I'll keep ya posted.

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Toffee
Posted December 19, 2003 at 01:49:31 PM by Bean in the Recipes category
Here is the best holiday candy I have ever had:

Combine 2 sticks of butter and 1 cup of brown sugar in a pot. Bring to a boil for 1 minute. Pour over a layer of saltines laid out on a oiled-foil-lined cookie sheet and place in a 350 degree oven for 8 minutes. Right after you take it out, sprinkle 1 bag of milk chocolate chips on top. After 5 minutes or so, spread the now melted chocolate evenly. Refridgerate until rigid, then break or cut into small chunks. Easy as pie. Tastes better than pie though. So, effin, good.

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TTags: ,
House Update
Posted December 17, 2003 at 01:00:52 PM by Bean
Just for the record: the $1000 bonus to anyone helping me sell my house is now off.  I finally broke down and listed it with a realtor... The MLS number is 2363260 if anyone is interested.

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A few Sunday mornings ago, John and I were driving back from a long drunken night at Caesars Casino.  We stayed up until 6 drinking and playing poker - it was part of his bachelor party.  *note: On the way home in the morning, I suspected we were both still a little drunk.  We were both starving, so we pulled into Wendys to get some Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.  I pulled up to the speaker dealy and said "Four Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers and two large waters" and the John leaned over and yelled "And a cup of shit".  Either the Wendy's worker didn't hear us or decided to ignore the request, because when our JBCs came, there was no shit.  We laughed for about 15 minutes straight.  Seemed mo betta funny at the time,  see *note above.



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Engrish
Posted December 15, 2003 at 02:05:15 PM by Bean

I love Engrish.com.  I had to link a few goodies from their "Recent Discoveries" section.



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Email Update
Posted December 15, 2003 at 01:47:49 PM by Bean

Here is the most up to date record of duck email activity.  It dates back to 1999.  We now have over 4 years of recorded correspondence with over 36,000 emails! 

We had an explosion of activity earlier in the year, even breaking through th elusive 2k barrier in June, but have dropped to mediocre-at-best performance for the past few months.  December looks promising with about 1000 emails so far (not shown), so we hope to buck this downward trend and duck it up in 2004.

If you think you've got what it takes to be a duck, and you want to join in on our group discussions, just drop me a line.  Be forwarned, though, as the emails are generally very thought provoking and may lead to a drop in productivity and a spike in producktivity.  Also, proper spelling and grammar are a must - those without the skills need not apply.

He's right.



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Chopsticks
Posted December 10, 2003 at 04:35:57 PM by Bean

All Chinese restaurants must have the same source for chopsticks.  Every one I have ever been to, be it buffet, carry-out, or sit-down, has the same chopsticks.  You know the ones.  They come in a red paper wrapper and the sticks are still joined together at the top.

On the wrapper apears the following text, verbatim:

Welcome to Chinese Restauraunt.  please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history and cultural.

It seems like somewhere along the way, someone would say "Hey dilwads, your grammar is all fuggered on these things... why don't you fix it."  The only scenario I can think of that would explain the situation is a giant stockpile of bad-grammar chopsticks that are so cheap that it's silly to buy properly formatted ones from someone else.  Maybe back in 1970, some Chinese textile giant built a factory and manufactured billions of chopsticks before anyone noticed the mistakes.  The result: a market flooded with chopsticks that make me laugh every time I read the wrapper.



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To the left is a picture of one ugly mother effer.

I had a picture that contained a few different people that I was using to create a logo for a work website (with the help of John). Anyway, after we finished making the logo, we were farting around with some of the Photoshop tools and ended up creating this mutant.

Also, if you'd like to see the final logo, go to my site, which is under construction (DEFUNKT LINK).

And what made it funnier is this: When my brother saw the mutant, he said "Hey that looks like my old boss at Anderson Consulting." Ewww...

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Q: What do Acterna, Paris Hilton, and Playdoh have in common?
A: This blog.

So I worked a total of about 7 weeks for Acterna after I left, on a contract basis.  I have only recieved one paycheck, and it was for weeks 3 and 4.  I have decided not to work any more until I get paid up to date, and even then, I probably wont put too much more time in.

So I watched the Paris Hilton sex tape.  It was blurry and green.  But I still liked it.  You see... I have this resentment for people like her, who are famous simply because they are rich.  I had never heard of her until about 1 year ago, now she is all over the news, magazines, and, well, the Internet.  She obviously has a severely skewed sense of what the world is like (as can be seen in her TV show) and probably doesnt realize how lucky she is to be a billionairess socialite.  But anyway, I figure since I, along with the rest of the world, got to see her poonanny, we are even.

Most kids I know had Playdoh growing up.  I opened a can of it the other day because my nephew had some.  The smell took me back.  It was at that point than I knew I had to lick it.  The taste took me back too.



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Catsitting
Posted December 01, 2003 at 11:11:37 AM by Bean

Since Stef and I live like gypsies, bounding from one home to another on a whim, we had to find someone to watch our cats until a permenant residence can be found.  The Rangoons graciously filled the bill.

We followed Chad and Rachael from our house in Indianapolis to their plave in Blooomfeild Sunday afternoon.  We had all 4 cats in the car with us, and every 2 minutes, they would decide to play musical chairs and switch positions.  It was crowded, but we made the drive okay, with the exception of Jake.  He spit up a hairball.  Then he vomitted on me.  Then he shit on Stef's purse.

When we unloaded the cats at Maison 'de Rangoon, it was clear that most of them would make the adjustment without any problems.  Kate did not fall into this generalization -  she just hid the whole time.  When I found her to say goodbye, I picked her up and she swatted at me, scratching my eyeball and eyelid and pushing the whole shabang about 1 inch back into my skull.  My vision is still a bit blurry, but thankfully, I don't have a black eye - how would I explain that one?



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