My name is Bean and this is my blog. Hence the name. If you have comments or questions, just leave them in the comments area.
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Archive for November 2003
Vegas [updated]
Posted November 26, 2003 at 11:42:15 AM by Bean

My gift to Stef for her 25th birthday was a trip to Vegas.

We left On a Friday morning, very early on a Friday morning, 7am to be specific.  This meant that we had to get up around 5am.  We headed to the airport, checked our bags, and got to the gate with about 1 hour to spare.  Our 3 hour flight went well, except for the fact that there was no SkyMall in our row.   Through the magic of global time zone differentials, We arrived in Vegas at - suprise - 7am!

A shuttle bus carted us to our hotel, Luxor.  It the big pyramid shaped one.  It was pretty awesome - as were all of the hotels along the strip.  Vegas Hotels bring in so much money, that they can afford to put in 50 foot ceilings, marble floors, and giant statues of whatever the hell they want.  I knew we wouldn't be able to check in yet, but for shits and giggles, I asked the desk clerk when we coudl check in.  "3" was her response.  That left about 7 hours before we could get into our room.  "No problem" we thought, as we checked our bags and headed out the door.

I bet we walked 10 miles that morning/afternoon.  Not only did we walk up and down the strip, on both side of the street, but we also went into and through most of the casinos.  Here are some of them.  My eyes were wide open and taking in all of the great structures, architecture, and over-the-top decor.  After a trip to one of the casino buffets, we headed back to check in.

Our room was very nice, and it was refreshing to sit down on a soft bed.  You see, in Las Vages, there are no chairs, benches or anythign of the sort except for the ones in front of slot machines and game tables.  This is one of the many tactics Vegas uses to squeeze money out of its visitors.  Others include but are not limited to:

  • Having no clocks, anywhere.
  • Having no windows in any of the casinos.
  • Having swirly designed, vertigo-inducing carpet and wallpaper.
  • Having clearly marked direction to find the slots, tables, and change machines but making it next to impossible to get to the cashier or exit by means of a straight line.
  • Making airline arrival and departure time as far away from check-in and check-out times as possible.

So we rested for about 10 minutes and then headed down to the casino floor.  We bought a couple tickets to Blue Man Group for that night and then sat down to play a few games.  I decided I liked the electronic blackjack machines.  Now I know that blackjack has a pretty high return rate if you play it well at a table, but I am not sure if electronic blackjack uses "decks" or is set up the same as all other machine games with a specific payback percentage.  Regardless, I spend a few dollars there and then decided to get a drink. 

Stef and I sat at the bar and put some quarter in the machine to try and milk a few free drinks.  When the bartendress came around and got our drink orders, she asked for our IDs.  She looked at Stefs and said "Did you know your ID is expired?  You are going to have to leave the casino floor."  I had to cash out her machine and we left the floor, drinkless. 

Stef did not know that her ID was expired until this moment, so we walked to security to see if there was anything we could do about it.  The security guard told us no, but that he would forget that we mentioned it to him so as to not have to kick us the fuck outta there.  Tails between our legs, we walked outside.  I was pretty upset... here we were in Vegas, but we couldn't gamble or drink.  Stef felt bad that she had forgotten to renew, and we were both in pretty bad moods.  We decided to just chill out, grab dinner, and go to the show that night.  Luckily, the show was really good.  Our spirits lifted, we decided to call it a night after that and hit the sack before midnight.

Saturday, we got up and walked some more.  By "some more", I mean "atleast 10000 miles."  We saw another show at one of the older hotels and had a few drinks.  We discovered that if Stef already had a drink in her hand, she could get served pretty easily.  With this new knowledge under our belts, we decided that Saturday would be our drunk day, and it was.

We walked up and down the strip again, visiting places we had missed the day before, and stopped into little stores and casinos that had cheap drinks.  We were happy to find Sparks at one of the local establishments.  We ventured to the far end of the strip by the end of the night and spend some time at Circus Circus before heading to The Stratosphere.  There was a Fat Tuesdays daquari bar inside the Stratosphere mall, so we went by there for some jello shots and drinks as we headed to the top of the tower.

Of the 1000 or so people waiting in line for the elevator to the top, we were the only americans - everyone else was Japanese.  I took a picture to proove it.  The view from teh top was awesome.  We could see how far we had walked that day and could hardly believe it.  Our hotel was a spec of light far off into the distance.  I rode a rollercoaster type ride on top of the tower.  It was pretty fun, as it dangled you over the edge and convinced you that death was immenent.

After we came back down, we popped squats at Fat Tuesdays again and got more shots and drinks.  The nice thing about the drinks was that you could add additional shots to the for $1.  We struck up a conversation with the manager and ended up sitting there for about 2 hours as we drank drink after drink adter drink.  This is where things get fuzzy.  I know that at some we left and took a trolley back to our hotel.  How do I know?  Because I have pictures from the inside of the trolly - I am sure everyone appreciated my flash.  We slept good that night.

Sunday morning, we got up, still drunk, and at a giant buffet breakfast.  Afterwards, we went back to the room and back to bed.  Check out was at 11am, but our flight didn't depart until midnight.  As you can probably guess, we did a lot of walking Sunday ass well.  We saw some more sights, went to a shark reef, saw Matrix Revolutions (sucked) and ate lots of food.  At some point, we rode in a cart pulled by a girl on a bike.  Here is a picture of her butt.  By the time departure time rolled around, we were happy to have seats to plant our asses in, even if they were on an airline.

I slept the whole way home.  I'm not sure if Stef did or not, because we were not seated together (thanks, Orbitz).  We got back to Indianapolis around 6am Monday morning and drove home.  It was a long weekend.  We had fun, but it was nice to be in our own bed.  And despite what everyone thought, we didn't get married.

Old Comments
Ugly Monkey Again
Posted November 24, 2003 at 01:28:41 PM by Bean

Stef and I went back to the Ugly Monkey Saturday night.  We were both saddedned to see that they had done away with many of the unique things that made th eplace enjoyable.  No longer can hot chicks straddle you and pour liquor down your throat as you spun in a reclined barber chair - no longer can drunk chicks take free shots from a dildo on the wall above the bar - no longer can you dance around in a drunken stipor wearing oversized animal head masks - and gone are the days of the $1 grabbag beers. 

To say the place has gone downhill is an understatement.  Just about the only things that are still worth going to see are the fat midget and the funny black guy in the bathroom.  Granted, there is still nice scenery when the dance floor fills, but that's not enough of a draw to get me back any time soon.

Old Comments

Monday night, Stef and I decided that we would go to a kickboxing class.  My friend John had been going for a few weeks, so we went along with him.  It was pretty fun, though a little light on actually kicking and  alittle heavy on jumping rope.  Here are the things to note about my experience with kickboxing:

  • You don't have to be "fit" to enjoy it.
  • The instructor doesn't have to be "fit" to teach it.
  • The stand-up kicking dummies look just like Steve Wills' dad.
  • I should wear pants, not shorts next time (lots of free shots of my junk, for those looking)
  • The Monday night instructor has a lean body, but a huge ass.

After the hour was up, I was pretty sweaty, which is nice since we decided to go directly to BW3s.  I was by far the scrubbiest, sweatiest person in the joint.  I got some "boneless buffalo wings" which turned out to be "heavily breaded, chopped-up chicken tenders."  I was unimpressed... I'll stick with regular wings next time.  What flavor did I get?  Medium, of course.

The place was pretty crowded due to Monday night football-ism.  They were having a promotion wheras anyone could get as many free bingo boards as they wanted and participate for prizes.  Someone put one in front of me, so I played.  Several numbers were called, and I was hitting about one in three of them.  I had 4 in a row, plus one outlier when I said to Stef "Hey, all I need is 67". 

"O - 67," the announcer read.  Well, whataya know - old scrubby, sweaty Bean hit the jackpot.  I got to walk up to the announcer and be declared the official winner in front of everyone, in full scrubby, sweaty glory.   I won a free shirt and got my name eneterd (and contact information harvested) in some drawing for a cruise or a trip or a cookie or something.

I wore the shirt to work Tuesday.

Old Comments
Driving, Passing, Etc. [Updated]
Posted November 13, 2003 at 05:01:19 PM by Bean

I thought I'd chime in with my opinion on this whole driving fiasco.  I usually drive between 75 and 80 on major interstates, and all in all, I agree with Bartow, with the following exception:  I stay in the right lane except when I have to pass someone.  I don't cruise along in the fast lane looking for someone to piss off.

But, if I get into the left lane and begin passing a row of cars then someone comes up behing me doing > 80, I am not going to go out of my way to let the chump by.  I am not going to cram into the crowded left lane behind grandma and slow down to 65 just so m2 doesn't have to slow down from 90 to 80.  Wait your damn turn, I was here first... why should I get fucked out of my extra mph instead of you?

If there is ample room for me to get to the right, let speedy by, and move back left without having to tap my brakes - I am all for it.  Good luck, get up there and flush out those speed traps.

Lastly, if speedy starts going m2-psycho on me, tailing me, honking, etc, he is only going to end up going slower.  I have been know to play the "you can't pass me" game for 75 miles or so.  I think I might get a "I may be slow, but I am in front of you" bumper sticker.

Updatem2 references the "greater good" in is retort to the retorted retort.  Here are the things I don't like about his concept of the "greater good" of highway driving:

  • If everyone was as smart as m2 and knew all about traffic dynamics, perhaps we could all get along better.  However, this will never be the case, so I am looking out for #1 (me, not m1).
  • The "greater good" doesn't always equal "bean's good".
  • Perhaps me slowing m2 down from mach I to 80mph is the "greater good".
  • How could you use a race anaolgy to argue the "greater good" of driving?  If I am in a race, and I am in front of you, then I must have done something right - fuck if I am gonna go out of my way to let you by.

Old Comments
Polka Cracked?
Posted November 06, 2003 at 03:59:24 PM by Bean

This is a curious spam.  It was obviously populated using a random selection of words triggered off of a macro named $RANDOMIZE (mistyped several times).  Not sure where the image came from, though.  My favorite random words featured  below are "sapsucker" and "breakfasted."  How does on get "breakfasted?"

Date: Thu, 6 Nov 2003 20:46:42 GMT
From: Lilia Marcus <
Subject: polka cracked

testifiers aries adroit crest tally boring idlers bertie countered tappet
accidentally bramble crosswise accosting brazen meekest scarves taxiing
postmen algerian blustery cotyledons mats hugging thatch etiology covet
tempting middleman policy $RANDO MIZE illustrations matrimonial
admirers billiken housed exigent secondary saute critical tattered hotshot
exponentiations accretion mesh pogo metabolite europeans huckleberry
actaeon boasters admits seating tenet europe excite memorial bailey
exemplify scheming maxims $RANDOM IZE beaumont tallness sapsucker
scorpions augustus accurately accrues tantalum teachable humidifiers
crossovers brakeman boarder adrenaline medallion aztecan texture
pottery scarcely hypothesize scrape


tasteless argive postulated metallurgy imaging politic microphone
hydrothermal humidified cozy criticise creativity scowled exceeding
brakeman taint hove 2nd meaningful pleases hydrate cribs teller
armenian mete exits maternity satiate seafare bolstering $RANDOM IZE bluegrass
ignorance expropriate scorches populated corrupts scoped thanked
meetinghouse tell adulterer blushes adored exactness plop screamed
evicted exemption saturates theatric balinese counters anglican
exactitude taping illuminate mewed taps exert mentalities $RANDOMI ZE
seaport hundredth exchanging breakfasted counterintuitive bangor poise
hornmouth boatswains advised counsel bomb horseman scalding albany
pleasure polity criticism hydroelectric abe melting

Old Comments
I think I OD'd on caffeine this morning.  I drank lots of coffee and no water and was dehydrated from last night when I had a few drinks.  I also ate a bunch of Halloween candy (mostly chocolate) that someone brought in.  Then I took a multivitamin with green tea extract (a stimulant).  My heart started racing... I started sweating bad and shaking like a freak.  I Had to gulp down some water and eat some real food to get the shakes to stop.  I currently have a fan on me and I am in the process of cooling down.  Son of a trach.

Old Comments
Posted November 04, 2003 at 01:55:38 PM by Bean in the Blog Updates category
Well, I finally broke down and bought Everything should be transfered, so if you find any broken links, email me!

Old Comments
int blog=rand(10)+1;
Posted November 03, 2003 at 08:21:26 AM by Bean

Here ar some incoherant updates:

  • Well, HalloBean 4.0 was a success.  I'll be posting stories, pictures, etc on the HalloBean website as I have time this week.  If anyone out there has some good pictures that they'd like to put up, email them to me.
  • I am supposed to be working 10 hours per week at Acterna.  I averaged about 8 or 9 for 3 weeks, and have still not recieved a check.  I ddin't go in at all lat week, and I probably wont be going in this week (Vegas, Baby).  But what the hell... what are they gonna do, fire me?  I already quit.
  • I require more sleep per night than I am currently getting.
  • Stef, Bilal, Sue, Jimmy, Shawna (sp?), Stacy, Nasser, and I went to Kabuto Saturday evening for some Japanese Steakhouse action.  It was very cool... I finally got to see the onion volcano that I have heard so much about.  I decided that if I ever built a giant griddle in my house to cook on, I would probably spend 90% of the time squirting alcohol on the grill and lighting it.  Neato.
  • We have 4 cats: one pukes a lot, one sprays gravy-like fluid on things, one will have nothing to do with me, and one attacks my feet in the middle of the night with fish hook claws.
  • I had a peanut butter banana bagle from Panera, and it was good.

Old Comments
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