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Archive for the Movies category ()
Movie Review: Flightplan
Posted February 01, 2006 at 09:09:08 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Stef brought home Flightplan yesterday, so we popped it in around 9. The beginning was pretty hard to follow, tumbling between flashbacks and present time (I think?), but once the movie got going it was fairly interesting. Jodie Foster's character boards a giant plane with her daughter after her husband's death in Germany, eager to get back to the US to begin their greiving and recovery. Mid-flight, her daughter goes missing and nobody else on the plane even admits to having ever seen a "daughter". It's a mediocre movie, but the plot twists and extreme suspense kept us aboard until the end. Overall, if I had to rate it on the trachbang scale, it'd probably get a Score.
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Movie Review: Narnia
Posted December 22, 2005 at 08:25:45 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Downloaded and watched Narnia last night. The quality was a little low because I had to compress the video to fit on a single disk, but it was bearable. The movie, on the other hand, was not.

For all the shit this remake stirred up, what with the religious references and all, it really just didn't have much that impressed me. The story was tired, predictable, and of course had a happy ending where everyone who died or was hurt throughout the entire movie comes back to life as the white witch bitch evil villian bites it. I was expecting an epic, along the lines of LOTR or even a little more kid-friendly like Dark Crystal. Instead, I got a 4 little english twits playing in the snow with a goat-dude and some beavers.

I'm glad I didn't pay for it!
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Movie Review: Aeon Flux
Posted December 19, 2005 at 08:46:55 AM by Bean in the Movies category
I didn't have the opportunity to watch the old Liquid Television series, so this movie was completely new to me. Aeon Flux was the first movie I ever downloaded on my new cable modem connection at home! Netflix be-damned, it's all illegal downloads from now on!

The beginning of the movie was hard to follow, but once things started coming together, it got a lot better. There are quite a few nice action scenes and effects (including a sweet black chick with hands where her feet should be). The giant blimp that held everyones DNA was a little on the WTF side of things, but the ending, in my opinion, was great. The premise (spoiler) of the story, for those who haven't seen it and probably wont, is this: A nasty virus cause a world-wide disastrophe and almost wiped out mankind, until we found a cure for it. Unfortunately the cure had sterility as a side affect - not a good thing when every surviving human on the planet takes it. So, in a panic, somebody develops human cloning techniques, builds a small fortress/city, and implants cloned embryoes into chicks when they come in for a manuhmanuh exam. 400 years pass, the masterminds continue to clone everyone in secret while cloning and teaching new versions of themselves the truth, the last human city grows larger, and the nth generation clones start feeling weird. Eventually, Aeon Flux catches onto this, and in a mish-mash of plot twists, ends up destroying the DNA bank which was the source of the clones, and discovering that the natural ability to breed has finally returned to humankind. On a scale from 6 to 9, I rate this movie 8.5.

I downloaded the 16 original episodes of Aeon Flux last night and plan on watching them this week ass wheel.
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Movie Reviews: Rize and Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Posted December 02, 2005 at 09:18:50 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Rize
Rize is a documentary all about west coast "clown dancing" and "krumping". It sucked. If you want to know what that stuff is, google it, but for God's sake, do NOT rent this movie! I give it two thumbs down and a many other degrading rating gestures.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Worse than Rize.
Movie Reviews: The Interpreter and Ray
Posted November 28, 2005 at 09:59:54 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Watched a few new movies over the Thanksgiving break.

Ray
This was a great flick. Quite a tough time, that Ray had, what with the dead brother, no eyesight, po-ass momma, and everybody trying to rip him off. I can see why Jamie Foxx got the Oscar - he played a very believable Ray Charles. And I learned that the background sample from Gold Digger was a Ray Charles hit, sung by Jamie Foxx. Who knew.

The Interpreter
This movie was a solid "eh." There wasn't really anythign bad about it, but there was definately nothing good. A little bit of action, a little bit of drama, and nothing at all to keep me interested. I fell asleep twice during it. And to top it off - I not a big fan of Sean Penn.

PS - I'm holding off until Thursday for a new Lost blog.
Movie Reviews: House of Wax and Sin City
Posted November 12, 2005 at 11:12:01 AM by Bean in the Movies category
House of Wax
Well, this movie was almost as good as The Ring Two. (PS - The Ring Two SUCKED) Not really very scary - just a lot of random gory scenes. The plot revolved around two effed up x-cojoined twins that are killing innocent campers and hot women and turning them into wax statues in an attempt to create a "wax city" as some kind of sick tribute to mommy. Unfortunately for them, wax burns well - and the end of the movie see's all of their hard work burn and melt into a town-sized glob of wax. The only saving grace of the whole movie is getting to see something cylindrical go into Paris Hiltons forehead instead of any of her pre-existing openings. (Steel pipe through the head). Overall: 2 thumbs down and a big ole fart noise.

Sin City
First off - I knew nothing about this "graphic novel" going into it, so I wasn't really sure what to expect plot-wise. Turns out to be three seperate stories, only barely related, about rough and tough men taking justice into their own hands. Each story was good on it's own, but I would have rather seen more connections between them or one big story involving them all. Interesting, and worth watching, but not worth watching again. My favorite things about Sin City were (1) The awesome camera work which was very comic-boos-esque, and (2) the gratuitious, often sloppy violence.
Movie Review: Crash
Posted November 10, 2005 at 11:13:38 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Stef and I watched Crash a few nights ago. It was really good.

It's a pretty serious movie that examines predjudice from a lot of different angles. It tosses racism at you in way that you dont expect and is a very engaging drama. There's lots of small stories that all relate to each other in some way, all takinng place in a post-9-11 NYC. Plus, it's got Don Cheadle in it, which is always a bonus.

Stef wrote her thoughts about it here. Go rent it soon!
Movie Review: The Ring Two
Posted August 24, 2005 at 11:49:00 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Stef and I rented this piece of shit last night cause we had a coupon for $1 off. Did I mention that it was a piece of shit? Oh, yeah, I did, right there in the first sentence, my bad.

The Ring (one) was pretty bad. It had some scary stuff in it what with the freaky little dead girl and the creepy, jerky movements and all, but the story was very bad. I mean, there was no flow. A bunch of weird and sometimes scary stuff happened to some girl at some point in the past, and now all of the sudden she's dead and in some VHS tape and kills people when they watch it. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Oh, and I forgot, if you make a copy of the tape and show it to your buddy, she spares you. Garbage.

On to the sequel. Obviously the writers knew that the "plot" from the first movie was "not so good" so they pretty much didn't even bother putting one in part 2. From what I can tell, they took the few saving graces from part 1 (the scary scenes) and stretched them into a 2 hour movie. They were, of course, not scary the second time around since you already knew that bitch was gonna climb out of the well, reach through the TV screen, and whoop some ass. The only semblance of plot in the movie comes in the last 20 minutes when you learn that the freaky dead girl who kills everyone is actually just trying to get into the main character's son's body so she can have a mommy who loves her. What a load of manure. And the final, epic battle scene between Rachel (the mom) and Sahara or whatever the fuck that dead girls name is, was just completely stupid. She reaches into the TV and ends up in a well where she races the dead girl (Shalama?) to the top and shuts her in and teleports back to her house where her son, whom she recently drowned, is fine and dandy and all is well with the world. I don't buy the fact that Rachel could beat the Shamama to the top... I mean, that dead girl can scurry up the wall like nobody's business - she's triple jointed, AND A GHOST. You can't outclimb a ghost.

Anyway, in summary, this movie was awesome and I'd highly recommend it to everyone.
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