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Interview: Fooie
Posted February 12, 2008 at 11:03:27 AM by Bean in the Interviews category
Fooie McGoo runs Mindsquirt. He used to live in good ole New Albany, but now inhabits Batesville or Lawrenceburg or some such nonsense.
Q:
You are interviewee number five. You are, however, the first one to actually ASK to be interviewed. So what gives? Do you have something grand to say?

A:
I actually didn't think you would say yes. I thought the interviews were reserved for family members and the like. You are a good person.The other issue is that things just slowed down at work, so this should be a good way for me to earn my well-deserved salary. I really have a lot of time on my hands. For instance, it is almost 10:00 and the only thing productive I have done so far is eat an orange and partially answered this question.I don't anything grand to say upfront. I have always wanted to be interviewed though. I have noticed that most celebrity interviews are pretty unentertaining. I always think "My interview would be much better than that". I doubt anyone would read them at all if they weren't in a movie or what-have-you. Maybe we should pretend for the rest of this interview that I starred in a movie. It is called "Jerry and Robby the Friendly Robot" which is a movie about a lonely boy who built a robot to be his friend. I think I was the unsuccessful inventor in that movie, who was jealous because of my inability to create a robot friend for myself for 15 years since my childhood, and I conspired to destroy the robot. Eventually I was inspired by the love between the boy and the robot, and decided to stop using my forces for evil. It was a very heartwarming movie. I also had a sinister mustache.

Q:
What properties do you look for in a good orange?

A:
I'd say I look for a perky and bright peel. When I taste the inside, it should taste like an orange would taste.I tried eating an orange like an apple once when I was a kid to see if it would work. It wasn't long before I realized it was a mistake for all concerned. I also used to eat the core of apples. I was real show-off.These days I tend not to eat oranges that much because I have a hard time peeling them. I'll eat oranges more just as soon as they develop an orange you can open like a bag of chips.This time I started peeling the orange with a disposable scalpel that I stole from a surgery suite across the hall. They do surgeries over there to instruct medical students how to place arterial stints and do angioplasties on filthy swine. By stealing the scalpel I might have saved a piggie's life! See, there IS hope after all.

Q:
What properties do you look for in a good pig?

A:
It should taste like bacon. Every portion of the pig should taste like bacon. If I went over and bit a live pig on the rump, it should be as though I just put a delectable piece of bacon in my mouth.

Q:
I concur. You are quite the wood-worker. Where did you pick up these skills and what do you have planned next?

A:
Thanks for noticing! I enjoy it quite a bit for a lot of reasons.I used my dad's shop and he really has a lot of great tools, which makes it easier. Any skills I have with woodworking tools are overshadowed by my ability to hurt myself with them.I picked up those skills from my dad, brother, and taught myself a lot. My dad learned carpentry and home-building at a young age from his dad and uncle and taught all of his kids the same way. My brother is 10 years older than me, so he had been there first and helped me come along. Dad always had a commercial rental building or a piece of land to develop for us to learn on. He would drag the whole family along and I was the youngest, so I bet I was helping in some capacity as young as 7 or so, although I don't remember.You could say that furniture building is just a refined extension of building houses. I mean, once you have some general skills in making wood fit together, and know how to use certain tools, it is easy to extend that from wall building to making a fetching dresser.I don't know about making any new projects. If I could think of a good one I would. I recently made a cheap toy box for my daughter but I haven't painted it yet. It was nice because it only took 6 hours or so. I don't have the time for much more than small projects like that these days, which is too bad, because my dad has some beautiful walnut that is ripe for the plucking.I might make an entertainment center some day soon, but that may hinge upon our next TV purchase and where we move next. Also bookshelves. I can't have enough of those. I hate getting rid of books and we have reached critical mass on our books. Maybe I could somehow make shelves out of books by dipping the books in resin and creating a composite! sweet!

Q:
One final question: Who should I interview next?

A:
You need someone compelling. Maybe someone of historical importance...George Washington, I think. He freed the slaves, you know.Or a B-list celeb. How about Webster? I have seen him on the Surreal Life and he is wacky. That show should have been named Wackster.Thanks for the interview. A good time was had by all. I won't be overtly hurt if this interview never makes it to your blog. However, I will secretly be contemptuous of you and passive-aggressively retaliate over the course of many years. I am still paying back brad for never returning my socks by not flushing when I go to his house.
[Note: This interview was originally conducted on 2007-02-28]
4 comments
bigD (February 13, 2008 at 05:59:21 AM):
why did you wait a year to post this interview? were you waiting for the release of teh robot movie so as not to post any SPOILER ALTERS?
bean (February 13, 2008 at 06:11:13 AM):
Dunno... it just sat in my inbox for that long.
Brad (February 13, 2008 at 09:05:08 AM):
For the record: I have seriously "Borrowed" 10+ pairs of socks from Tim and not returned them.

Also for the record. Washington did not free the slaves. He did however part the red sea.
fooie (February 20, 2008 at 06:03:59 PM):
what a great idea. I like blogs about me.

the funny thing about brad borrowing socks from me is the minute i start to object to brad wanting to borrow socks from me he gets petulant.

hey, screw you, brad. get your own damn socks.

btw i somehow ended up with some of your socks and i hate them. i almost threw them out Monday night. I am not making this up.


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