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Movie Review: Narnia
Posted December 22, 2005 at 08:25:45 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Downloaded and watched Narnia last night. The quality was a little low because I had to compress the video to fit on a single disk, but it was bearable. The movie, on the other hand, was not.

For all the shit this remake stirred up, what with the religious references and all, it really just didn't have much that impressed me. The story was tired, predictable, and of course had a happy ending where everyone who died or was hurt throughout the entire movie comes back to life as the white witch bitch evil villian bites it. I was expecting an epic, along the lines of LOTR or even a little more kid-friendly like Dark Crystal. Instead, I got a 4 little english twits playing in the snow with a goat-dude and some beavers.

I'm glad I didn't pay for it!
TTags:
24 comments
rushing (December 22, 2005 at 09:14:44 AM):
dark crystal scared my as a child.
Bean (December 22, 2005 at 09:52:23 AM):
First time I ever seen it was in hike-school, and I liked it. Gonna torrent that birch tonight.
Finch (December 22, 2005 at 10:24:08 AM):
Damn shit fart. What's the deal with the "click here first" for 'add comment'? I have now tried to post two comments unsuccessfully.
Finch (December 22, 2005 at 10:27:25 AM):
As far as the movie...When the fat guy on the sleigh showed up, I leaned over to my wife and said "Santa?". When it actually turned out to be Santa, I damn near shat myself, thinking I had made the movie with my mind.
m1 (December 22, 2005 at 10:35:23 AM):
STEP ON IT SUCKAH
What you want to do Chris?
Snack attack, motherfucker!
Bean (December 22, 2005 at 11:21:59 AM):
yeah, the santa part was fucking gay. I thought maybe it was the professor or somehting? fuck, I dont know. And the clickity clicky thing is to keep spammers from traching my shits up. I was gettign and manually deleting about 5 per week.
corbin (December 22, 2005 at 01:56:01 PM):
the santa part is in the book though.
Finch (December 22, 2005 at 02:17:08 PM):
Yeah, I haven't read the books in ~15 years, thus I had done forgot. I have heard that the movie is exactly like the book, which means I have no desire to re-read the thing. Trach! I say!
Bean (December 22, 2005 at 03:09:58 PM):
I did get a few stray nostalgic feelings when I saw certian scenes (mainly the lightpost), but they were too few and far between for me to put together any solid memories of reading the books or seeing the TV series.
corbin (December 22, 2005 at 03:42:52 PM):
fuck, forgot to click checkbox...

speaking of stealing movies, thought about downloading jarhead, since i won't be able to see it in theaters, but don't want to watch it in shitty quality...thoughts?
bean (December 22, 2005 at 09:29:25 PM):
gotta find a high quality copy
Rustychu (December 23, 2005 at 06:54:45 AM):
I listened to the book a week before seeing the movie...and it was exactly the same. I don't know what you were expecting the movie to be, but it was pretty much exactly like the book. I thought it was pretty decent...but maybe I didn't have such high hopes from previous memories of the book.
TP (December 23, 2005 at 08:40:09 AM):
I recently watched The Great Raid. I recommend viewing it if you have the means. The only thing I remember about Narnia is watching the cartoon version as a kid when i had the 7-day flu. Man that sucked. The flu, not Narnia.
Finch (December 23, 2005 at 09:24:23 AM):
For me, I just thought the story was very bare. There was really no character development, and the plot was extremely simple (I mean, there was only one five-minute battle). I was expecting more LOTR. I think this is the same reason why I don't like Harry Potter, (that, and the kids can't work worth a damn).
Finch (December 23, 2005 at 09:24:48 AM):
whoops, "work" in that last sentence should be "act"
Rustychu (December 23, 2005 at 09:58:31 AM):
Seriously, there wasn't that much character development in the book either. LOTR is a huge epic story to start with...Cronic(what!)als of Narnina is a children's story.
Finch (December 23, 2005 at 11:08:21 AM):
I don't doubt that, I'm just saying I had no recollection of the books (and had never read LOTR because I didn't like the Hobbit), so I was disappointed.
Finch (December 23, 2005 at 11:09:58 AM):
Alt-so, I think I'm the rare person that doesn't care if a movie doesn't follow the book. The movie should stand on its own. Examples: Trainspotting, A Clockwork Orange
bigD (December 23, 2005 at 01:09:27 PM):
I don't care if a movie follows the book or not, as long as it's a good movie. It's just that most movies that are made about books are a trach.

exceptions:

shawshank redemption
stand by me
green mile
bean (December 23, 2005 at 03:26:26 PM):
Didn't live up to my LOTRish expectations. Nail on head.
Finch (December 23, 2005 at 04:26:54 PM):
In a completely unrelated note...am I the only one who always says "Beanblog" in the same tone as Steak 'n Shake's "Beancrock" commercials upon entering this site?
Jewfish (December 28, 2005 at 09:36:17 PM):
I dunno what this "beancrock" whatnot is.

I bought my dad The Great Raid for xmas. It's based on a book called "Ghost Soldiers" which tells the story of some of the duders that were stranded in the phillipines after MacArthur left. I done read it and it was bangarific. I haven't seen the movie yet tho.

Narnia was underwhelming.
Jewfish (December 28, 2005 at 09:36:38 PM):
alt+so: blog more blogs
corbin (January 05, 2006 at 07:09:14 AM):
saw narnia last night, on the "big" screen, in linton, which is a medium screen at best. i thoughjt it was a good movie, but yeah, damn near ed zachary like the book, but i imagine a lot of asswipes would be up in arms claiming anti-christian whatnot if one iota of the movie was different.
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