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Gas Bag
Posted April 11, 2003 at 02:14:52 PM by Bean in the Flashbacks category
I hung out with my friend Bilal a lot in junior high and highschool. He was pretty tiny back then, mostly skin and bones, and I was just the opposite (i.e. fat). One weekend, in early junior highschool if I remember correctly, I was spending the night at his house. We were up stairs watching TV or playing with legos or something, and I got an idea.

For whatever reason, I had really bad gas that night. I went to his kitchen and got a black garbage bag, and then every time I had to let one rip, I tried to capture it in the bag. Also, I am talented in the fact that I can make myself burp a lot whenever I want, so I also added some burp gas into the bag as well.

Bilal saw me doing this, and knew something bad was going to happen. He was right. I used my weigh advantage to do something I am sure Bilal will never forget. I tackled him and put the bag over his head. He was screaming and flailing his arms and legs, but I held the bag on tight. After a minute or so, I let him out of the wretched bag of body gas so he wouldn't suffocate.

I hereby define this assault as the "Gas Bag". Also, I hereby hope to God nobody ever gas bags me.

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