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Movie Review: The Ring Two
Posted August 24, 2005 at 11:49:00 AM by Bean in the Movies category
Stef and I rented this piece of shit last night cause we had a coupon for $1 off. Did I mention that it was a piece of shit? Oh, yeah, I did, right there in the first sentence, my bad.

The Ring (one) was pretty bad. It had some scary stuff in it what with the freaky little dead girl and the creepy, jerky movements and all, but the story was very bad. I mean, there was no flow. A bunch of weird and sometimes scary stuff happened to some girl at some point in the past, and now all of the sudden she's dead and in some VHS tape and kills people when they watch it. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Oh, and I forgot, if you make a copy of the tape and show it to your buddy, she spares you. Garbage.

On to the sequel. Obviously the writers knew that the "plot" from the first movie was "not so good" so they pretty much didn't even bother putting one in part 2. From what I can tell, they took the few saving graces from part 1 (the scary scenes) and stretched them into a 2 hour movie. They were, of course, not scary the second time around since you already knew that bitch was gonna climb out of the well, reach through the TV screen, and whoop some ass. The only semblance of plot in the movie comes in the last 20 minutes when you learn that the freaky dead girl who kills everyone is actually just trying to get into the main character's son's body so she can have a mommy who loves her. What a load of manure. And the final, epic battle scene between Rachel (the mom) and Sahara or whatever the fuck that dead girls name is, was just completely stupid. She reaches into the TV and ends up in a well where she races the dead girl (Shalama?) to the top and shuts her in and teleports back to her house where her son, whom she recently drowned, is fine and dandy and all is well with the world. I don't buy the fact that Rachel could beat the Shamama to the top... I mean, that dead girl can scurry up the wall like nobody's business - she's triple jointed, AND A GHOST. You can't outclimb a ghost.

Anyway, in summary, this movie was awesome and I'd highly recommend it to everyone.
1 comment
Bleach n Sheets (August 25, 2005 at 11:34:28 AM):
ZERO GRANDMAS!!
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