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Vegas [updated]
Posted November 26, 2003 at 11:42:15 AM by Bean

My gift to Stef for her 25th birthday was a trip to Vegas.

We left On a Friday morning, very early on a Friday morning, 7am to be specific.  This meant that we had to get up around 5am.  We headed to the airport, checked our bags, and got to the gate with about 1 hour to spare.  Our 3 hour flight went well, except for the fact that there was no SkyMall in our row.   Through the magic of global time zone differentials, We arrived in Vegas at - suprise - 7am!

A shuttle bus carted us to our hotel, Luxor.  It the big pyramid shaped one.  It was pretty awesome - as were all of the hotels along the strip.  Vegas Hotels bring in so much money, that they can afford to put in 50 foot ceilings, marble floors, and giant statues of whatever the hell they want.  I knew we wouldn't be able to check in yet, but for shits and giggles, I asked the desk clerk when we coudl check in.  "3" was her response.  That left about 7 hours before we could get into our room.  "No problem" we thought, as we checked our bags and headed out the door.

I bet we walked 10 miles that morning/afternoon.  Not only did we walk up and down the strip, on both side of the street, but we also went into and through most of the casinos.  Here are some of them.  My eyes were wide open and taking in all of the great structures, architecture, and over-the-top decor.  After a trip to one of the casino buffets, we headed back to check in.

Our room was very nice, and it was refreshing to sit down on a soft bed.  You see, in Las Vages, there are no chairs, benches or anythign of the sort except for the ones in front of slot machines and game tables.  This is one of the many tactics Vegas uses to squeeze money out of its visitors.  Others include but are not limited to:

  • Having no clocks, anywhere.
  • Having no windows in any of the casinos.
  • Having swirly designed, vertigo-inducing carpet and wallpaper.
  • Having clearly marked direction to find the slots, tables, and change machines but making it next to impossible to get to the cashier or exit by means of a straight line.
  • Making airline arrival and departure time as far away from check-in and check-out times as possible.

So we rested for about 10 minutes and then headed down to the casino floor.  We bought a couple tickets to Blue Man Group for that night and then sat down to play a few games.  I decided I liked the electronic blackjack machines.  Now I know that blackjack has a pretty high return rate if you play it well at a table, but I am not sure if electronic blackjack uses "decks" or is set up the same as all other machine games with a specific payback percentage.  Regardless, I spend a few dollars there and then decided to get a drink. 

Stef and I sat at the bar and put some quarter in the machine to try and milk a few free drinks.  When the bartendress came around and got our drink orders, she asked for our IDs.  She looked at Stefs and said "Did you know your ID is expired?  You are going to have to leave the casino floor."  I had to cash out her machine and we left the floor, drinkless. 

Stef did not know that her ID was expired until this moment, so we walked to security to see if there was anything we could do about it.  The security guard told us no, but that he would forget that we mentioned it to him so as to not have to kick us the fuck outta there.  Tails between our legs, we walked outside.  I was pretty upset... here we were in Vegas, but we couldn't gamble or drink.  Stef felt bad that she had forgotten to renew, and we were both in pretty bad moods.  We decided to just chill out, grab dinner, and go to the show that night.  Luckily, the show was really good.  Our spirits lifted, we decided to call it a night after that and hit the sack before midnight.

Saturday, we got up and walked some more.  By "some more", I mean "atleast 10000 miles."  We saw another show at one of the older hotels and had a few drinks.  We discovered that if Stef already had a drink in her hand, she could get served pretty easily.  With this new knowledge under our belts, we decided that Saturday would be our drunk day, and it was.

We walked up and down the strip again, visiting places we had missed the day before, and stopped into little stores and casinos that had cheap drinks.  We were happy to find Sparks at one of the local establishments.  We ventured to the far end of the strip by the end of the night and spend some time at Circus Circus before heading to The Stratosphere.  There was a Fat Tuesdays daquari bar inside the Stratosphere mall, so we went by there for some jello shots and drinks as we headed to the top of the tower.

Of the 1000 or so people waiting in line for the elevator to the top, we were the only americans - everyone else was Japanese.  I took a picture to proove it.  The view from teh top was awesome.  We could see how far we had walked that day and could hardly believe it.  Our hotel was a spec of light far off into the distance.  I rode a rollercoaster type ride on top of the tower.  It was pretty fun, as it dangled you over the edge and convinced you that death was immenent.

After we came back down, we popped squats at Fat Tuesdays again and got more shots and drinks.  The nice thing about the drinks was that you could add additional shots to the for $1.  We struck up a conversation with the manager and ended up sitting there for about 2 hours as we drank drink after drink adter drink.  This is where things get fuzzy.  I know that at some we left and took a trolley back to our hotel.  How do I know?  Because I have pictures from the inside of the trolly - I am sure everyone appreciated my flash.  We slept good that night.

Sunday morning, we got up, still drunk, and at a giant buffet breakfast.  Afterwards, we went back to the room and back to bed.  Check out was at 11am, but our flight didn't depart until midnight.  As you can probably guess, we did a lot of walking Sunday ass well.  We saw some more sights, went to a shark reef, saw Matrix Revolutions (sucked) and ate lots of food.  At some point, we rode in a cart pulled by a girl on a bike.  Here is a picture of her butt.  By the time departure time rolled around, we were happy to have seats to plant our asses in, even if they were on an airline.

I slept the whole way home.  I'm not sure if Stef did or not, because we were not seated together (thanks, Orbitz).  We got back to Indianapolis around 6am Monday morning and drove home.  It was a long weekend.  We had fun, but it was nice to be in our own bed.  And despite what everyone thought, we didn't get married.

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