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Houses and Cheese
Posted February 17, 2004 at 03:03:53 PM by Bean

Sold my house!  BANG!

Now on to the next item: buying a new one.  Trach.

In related news, there are those reading this blog that have heard the story about the worst bathroom experience I ever had.  They know that the incident involved Kroger Brand Hot Habanero Pepper Cheese.  Now I wont go in to details, because that would be a pretty gross thing to blog a blog about, but I will tell you this: I had some more of it two nights ago. 

I summoned up the machismo to down about 1/6 of a 1 pound brick of the stuff.  That night, I woke up around 4am with a stomach ache.  Fearing the worst, I shut my eyes hoping to "sleep it off".  Luck for me, it worked - no ill side effects.  Unlucky for you, however, I am going to go ahead and post the original incident report from 18 months ago:

Let me take a moment to describe my latest movement, possibly the worst one I have ever experienced:
Laying on my couch last night, I had a pain deep in the pit of my stomach.  I thought it was gas, but decided to pop a squat on the toilet just to  cover my bases. I started to feel like I had to poo really bad, but couldnt. I though "Maybe I am constipated from all of the meat and cheese I have been eating". So I sat there, grunting, pushing, nearly causing cerebrial hemmoraging, trying to get things moving. Finally, after a few minutes I could feel something coming. It was like uncorking a shaken up bottle of champagne. After the hard, stuck "cork" was expelled, a nauseus stew of gas and liquid dooty exploded out of me into the pot, causing significant splashing, I might note. And due to my recent ingestion of large amounts of Kroger brand Hot Habanero Pepper Cheese, the whole experience was topped off with the worst case of burnt ass I have ever had.

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