My name is Bean and this is my blog. Hence the name. If you have comments or questions, just leave them in the comments area.
Posted May 13, 2004 at 10:52:08 AM by Bean
Talked to a doc, a shrink, and a minister last night. Sounds like a bad joke.
The doc was completely unhelpfull... he just recomended some books. Turns out he's a creationist and believes the earth is 6000 years old. For all I know, he's right. It just seems way out there to me.
The shrink was helpfull... very smart and very good at digging into why I am thinking the things I am thinking. I am definately going to see him again. But, in the end, it seems like I can counter each of his arguments with the fact that everything he knows stems from the way he explains the world around him and his core belief in God. I get this "Well, he's been duped into religion too" arrogance that overwhelms me and doesnt allow me to take what he says as fact, even thought I know he is much more intelligent and knowledgable than me. For all I know... he could just be brainwashed... the result of a family that poured Christian teaching over their children from the earliest days of their lives.
The minister, or, actually, the guy who is close to becoming ordained, was also helpful. We drank beers while talking, and I've met and hung out with him before. He's a great guy, and I don't feel like there are any alterior motives present when he is trying to help me. I believe that he is genuinely interested in helping me through this. He is very bright, and has convincing arguments on all of the topics that I have questions. I can say that while we talked, I felt better, and immediatley thereafter, I still had a "full" feeling. But this morning, I realize that everything he said only made sense if you had his same world view and core belief... something I do not have. There is always a catch-22. You have to have Faith in God to explain the world this way or that way, and then you use that explination to justify the Faith. With that logic, you could insert any word in place of "God".
So, in the end... the day was somewhat helpful, but this mornign I am left with the same sense of emptiness. Back to square 1 I guess. Seeing a diferent shirink tonight. My dad is hell-bent on getting some drugs for me. Maybe that'll help... who knows.