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Posted May 24, 2004 at 07:59:39 AM by Bean

So I have been on the pills for 5 days, and I can honestly say that I feel a lot better.  Of course, I keep thinking it's a placebo effect - psychosomatic - and that I could have done it without the pills, but I am not sure I want to chance it.  In general, I have gotten back to doing the things that I did in April.  Seems like May was a blur.

Even so, there is always this thing in the back of my mind, looming over me, constantly trying to get in.  I know what it is, and I know that it is importent, but I am able to stop myself from getting into it so deeply that I become useless.  I can block it out for short times and do the things I need to do.  So instead of constantly having cyclical, intrusive thoughts racing in my head, I have normal ones that allow me a normal life again, and a big something lurking back there.  I'll have to deal with it, but I dont have to deal with it RIGHT NOW.

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